I ran an Infinity league this past summer at my store, and as I was prepping one of the weeks, I realized that the story I was writing really demanded that a mission or two take place in a sewer.

This was a problem, seeing how my store does not have sewer terrain. However, this was not a large problem, because… come on. It’s freaking sewers, people.

Three short blasts of the Terrain Party Horn summoned my army to my side, and we proceeded to churn out our smelly battlefield in the span of an afternoon.

Prelude

Spud: So did you hear the leaks for the Hordes colossals?

Dan: Yeah, they sound okay. The Skorne one was a bit disappointing, though. It’s weird that they also just have, like… bigger titans.

Spud: What would you do instead?

Dan: I dunno, but there are tons of options. Skorne capture all kinds of different creatures, so why couldn’t they find some totally different type of horrible monster out in the desert? Like a giant Starship Troopers beetle that shoots acid goo, or another type of their dinosaur beasts? It could literally be anything. So it seems weird that in the faction known for huge beast diversity, they’d opt for “same, but bigger.”

Spud: Fair enough.

Dan: Or they could do something totally bonkers and make it, like, a giant Ancestral Guardian statue. Just a huge ****ing statue walking across the battlefield stomping on people.

Spud: Hmm… that would actually be awesome, but I don’t feel like that would be a warbeast.

Dan: Why not? Isn’t the Circle one just a huge Wold? And they made that a warbeast.

Spud: Sure, but Wolds are beasts to begin with, even the smaller ones. Ancestral Guardians are solos, so whatever’s going on with them, they don’t seem to “interact” with a Warlock in the same way a Wold does. So while I could totally see a badass giant Ancestral Guardian, my guess is that it would be a battle engine, not a colossal.

Dan: I guess that makes sense.

I have related this story back to Dan after the fact, and he does not remember the conversation. It did happen, though. So whether he remembers or not, all of this is squarely his fault.

Every year for Christmas, I pick a few people I know and make presents for them. The list of recipients changes every year, with the idea that everyone I know will get something eventually, even if some need to wait a decade before their name comes up. This is primarily a method of suppressing insurrection against my rule of the local community; I tend to treat those around me as poorly as I can get away with, and they tolerate the abuse in the faint hope that it will all be worth it someday when they are gifted with a small clay man that is different from their other plastic and metal men.

Though the Space Mounties have been fighting valiantly to protect their country’s interests across the galaxy, they have found themselves outflanked by superior enemy firepower and discourteous sneakiness. In the face of this pressure, the NeoCanadian Courtesy Division has called in for the transfer of its most elite troops to reinforce the Canadian line.

Part 1: Arctic Space Ninja

The first to arrive was a representative of the deadliest regiment NeoCanada can muster: the Ijurujuq, an elite Inuit stealth corps that mercily stalk the snowbound lands of Space Nunavut.

The Inuit forces would be represented on the field by the Swiss Guard, also known as “the deadliest model in PanOceania”. The NeoTerra starter I picked up contained a Swiss Guard model that I’ve never liked, awkwardly one-handing a missile launcher while pointlessly brandishing a knife. Once I had the model in my hands, though, I realized that the torso and legs of this model are absolutely gorgeous in their design, detailing, and posing, and it was really only the arms that had always made me dislike the model. This ended up working perfectly– I had planned to perform a weapon swap anyway, so if I just sculpted him a new set of arms I could very easily jettison everything I didn’t like about the model and be left with an utterly badass pile of Arctic pewter and putty. 🙂

I’ve now been playing Infinity for just about a year. I’m still absolutely in love with the game and kicking all kinds of ass with my Space Catholics, but I’ve had a hankering lately to expand my horizons a bit, and this has led me to put some time into assembling a new force: The NeoCanadian Courtesy Division.

I picked up most of the models for this army about eight months ago, but I’ve avoided playing them until I could field a mostly painted force. Mechanically, the army plays under the Neoterran Capitaline Army sectorial rules, but I’m going to be extensively converting models within the force to represent the military might of Space Canada.

Hey, stop laughing.

Canada totally has military might.

We’ve got those two boats and everything!

My sister had some sort of party two weeks ago and my family insisted that I go.

I checked to see if I had D&D or an Infinity event that weekend, but they were both the week before, so I was clear to attend.

“Oh, and make sure to bring a statue of me,” she said. “To go on a cake.”

Kind of a weird request, I thought, but I shrugged and knocked out some sketches. They were going pretty well for the most part, but something in the composition seemed off.

“It looks really weird to have just one person on a cake. The balance isn’t right.”

“Fine,” she huffed. “Throw someone else on there too if you want.”

“Mmkay. Anyone in particular?”

“Ehh.”

“Oooookay then.”

I dug around on her Facebook for some pictures to use as reference. There were a lot of this dude.

“Hey, will this guy be at the party? There’s a lot of reference here for him.”

She thought for a moment.

“I’d have to check, but I think so.”