Knight of Rams

datetime November 18, 2015 11:55 PM

This conversation happens about once a month, generally at work or at family gatherings:

  • Person: Do anything interesting this weekend?
  • Spud: Not really. Mostly just sat at home and sculpted.
  • Person: Oh, you sculpt? Neat!
  • Spud: Oh, right. Yeah, I sculpt little dudes about an inch tall.
  • Person: That’s so cool! Do you have any that I can see?
  • Spud: Uh, no.
  • Person: No?
  • Spud: Yeah, I kind of end up giving away every single model I sculpt. I can’t think of a single one that I still have in my possession.
  • Person: Oh. Hmm.
  • Spud: Yeah. It kinda sucks. I have some pictures on my blog, though.
  • Person: Ehh, I guess…

And then I show them my pictures, but I can tell that they’re disappointed, because that isn’t quite the same as being able to hold the model in your hand.

After a decade of having this conversation, I decided to finally do something about it. That’s right, kids: I am sculpting some models just to keep for myself. And what’s more, they aren’t going to be models for any particular game– I just want to draw a cool picture, then sculpt the character I drew, and then never paint the model, and have all of that be okay.

Six Hour Poopducts

datetime October 29, 2015 10:35 PM


I ran an Infinity league this past summer at my store, and as I was prepping one of the weeks, I realized that the story I was writing really demanded that a mission or two take place in a sewer.

This was a problem, seeing how my store does not have sewer terrain. However, this was not a large problem, because… come on. It’s freaking sewers, people.

Three short blasts of the Terrain Party Horn summoned my army to my side, and we proceeded to churn out our smelly battlefield in the span of an afternoon.

The Colour of Suffering is Orange

datetime September 27, 2015 5:00 PM


Spud: So did you hear the leaks for the Hordes colossals?

Dan: Yeah, they sound okay. The Skorne one was a bit disappointing, though. It’s weird that they also just have, like… bigger titans.

Spud: What would you do instead?

Dan: I dunno, but there are tons of options. Skorne capture all kinds of different creatures, so why couldn’t they find some totally different type of horrible monster out in the desert? Like a giant Starship Troopers beetle that shoots acid goo, or another type of their dinosaur beasts? It could literally be anything. So it seems weird that in the faction known for huge beast diversity, they’d opt for “same, but bigger.”

Spud: Fair enough.

Dan: Or they could do something totally bonkers and make it, like, a giant Ancestral Guardian statue. Just a huge ****ing statue walking across the battlefield stomping on people.

Spud: Hmm… that would actually be awesome, but I don’t feel like that would be a warbeast.

Dan: Why not? Isn’t the Circle one just a huge Wold? And they made that a warbeast.

Spud: Sure, but Wolds are beasts to begin with, even the smaller ones. Ancestral Guardians are solos, so whatever’s going on with them, they don’t seem to “interact” with a Warlock in the same way a Wold does. So while I could totally see a badass giant Ancestral Guardian, my guess is that it would be a battle engine, not a colossal.

Dan: I guess that makes sense.

I have related this story back to Dan after the fact, and he does not remember the conversation. It did happen, though. So whether he remembers or not, all of this is squarely his fault.

Chibi Yaum

datetime July 3, 2015 11:59 PM


Every year for Christmas, I pick a few people I know and make presents for them. The list of recipients changes every year, with the idea that everyone I know will get something eventually, even if some need to wait a decade before their name comes up. This is primarily a method of suppressing insurrection against my rule of the local community; I tend to treat those around me as poorly as I can get away with, and they tolerate the abuse in the faint hope that it will all be worth it someday when they are gifted with a small clay man that is different from their other plastic and metal men.

The Ghost and the Watcher

datetime June 4, 2015 12:08 AM

Though the Space Mounties have been fighting valiantly to protect their country’s interests across the galaxy, they have found themselves outflanked by superior enemy firepower and discourteous sneakiness. In the face of this pressure, the NeoCanadian Courtesy Division has called in for the transfer of its most elite troops to reinforce the Canadian line.

Part 1: Arctic Space Ninja

The first to arrive was a representative of the deadliest regiment NeoCanada can muster: the Ijurujuq, an elite Inuit stealth corps that mercily stalk the snowbound lands of Space Nunavut.

The Inuit forces would be represented on the field by the Swiss Guard, also known as “the deadliest model in PanOceania”. The NeoTerra starter I picked up contained a Swiss Guard model that I’ve never liked, awkwardly one-handing a missile launcher while pointlessly brandishing a knife. Once I had the model in my hands, though, I realized that the torso and legs of this model are absolutely gorgeous in their design, detailing, and posing, and it was really only the arms that had always made me dislike the model. This ended up working perfectly– I had planned to perform a weapon swap anyway, so if I just sculpted him a new set of arms I could very easily jettison everything I didn’t like about the model and be left with an utterly badass pile of Arctic pewter and putty. :)